gonna have debate tmr again =) both looking forward to it, and scared-- of the re-opening of an unhealed wound. I really don't feel like writing about it. Perhaps... deep down there is still this self-denial? This can't do. I must pick myself up... ok Here goes, a summarized and abridged version of a painful chapter in mystory.
- We arrived at bukit merah with barely enough time to spare. And then the debate began. I was a little shocked at the start and we got hit pretty hard. Thank goodness everything went back on track. In the end, it wasn't great. I knew we would lose. But there were some good comments... and I had this tinge of hope... combined with the fact that my predictions (about winning or losing) has been totally opposite to the truth in the 3 rounds that we debated in...

Perhaps I should be happy. For once my predictions are right. My foresight has improved.
The aftermath wasn't pretty. Somehow I got cheered up (artificial or organic...) by the fact that even if we weren't great debaters, we. were. a. great. TEAM. Something that (i bet) a lot of champions don't have. a real, true blue, TEAM. But deep down. I guess I wasn't really 'happy'. And this aftermath had added levels of complexity. [fast forward, to the after-aftermath]

At least through this I came to realize something. I'd make sure this Doesn't happen again... like what my dad said, jiao1 bing1 bi4 bai4 [arrogant soldiers always lose the battle] (ho hum, this sent me to my awakening. surprise what a chengyu can do...ho.) I DON'T mean that our team was arrogant or what, because we're great. I just mean that. I realized that I [I, myself and me- the biggest idiot in the entire universe] wasn't analytical enough (or intelligent enough) to realize what I SHOULD have done, how I SHOULD have thought. Until the debate is over. [and it still took 3 days.] I am. Erm. So impressed by my brillance.

For some weird reason I'm struck rather hard by debate. Multi-faceted reasons. (can multi-faceted be used here... hmmm. ahz. why do I bother about that...) Honestly, debate itself doesn't seem a big deal to me at all. But like the wise Tammy enlightened me... Debate isn't a big deal. But winning, or LOSING one, Is...

There are several people that I must thank for pulling me through ... the ever-so-wonderful debate team plus seniors (and grand-seniors too, coming to help us.), couple of old friends and a demented ahma (you know who you are, if you eh end up reading it ;)). And my dad too. Your chenyu really worked man. wow... *applause *smirks *just kidding

Btw ah... u ppl are the small miracles part of a big miracle. called existence. can also be known as life. or to some, perhaps more approrpriately written as the universe. :D