Let the holidays begin...

'tis the season to be merry... lahlahlahlahlah lahlahlahlah.
I realized that I still have not updated on before-birthday, my birthday, end-of-school, S&T camp. But no I am not in the mood to update on such merry things.
I am falling apart. lahlah. hooray. Builds character [result of martian indoctrination?]I do not know. I am too lost. Too fragile.
I don't know where I'm going. I'm not going where I want to.
I just wanna be thankful for everything I have, everybody around me... you're the reason why I'm still here today. =)

And not in a mental asylum. But maybe an asylum is better. Either way. Well.

I'm afraid... that me being not-in-the-best-mood will affect people around me. But seriously... won't it be better than pretending to smile? After all, pretending to be happy is demeaning the meaning behind a smile.
But on the other hand, people may prefer living in a lie. Do you? I don't, but sometimes the truth hurts too much.
Maybe I should shut myself up in a dungeon in some Planet X. Maybe that will be for the best. But I am too selfish... I don't want to give up the wonderful world around me here...

It is a sunny day. The trees sway lightly to a breeze... the clouds are beautiful, and so is the sky, as always. But that is only a picture I see. Perhaps out there... in a galaxy far, far away... a storm is brewing...

By the way, I'm sorry to anyone who has been made upset-or-not-so-happy by me. I know what I owe everybody is more than an apology. But then. What else can I give. I'm sorry.